Another assessment

So tomorrow morning I attend my local mental health unit for yet another assessment, to try and establish exactly what status I hold in respect to my mental health. Am I bipolar? Or just depressed and anxious?

So many thoughts are running through my head at the moment the largest being that for the first time my husband will be with me in the assessment. I’m the woman who always holds everything in, he doesn’t know how bad I am. And with him being in the assessment will I be able to be honest and if I am, will it hurt him knowing how bad I really am. 

I never thought that this would be my life. I’m the girl who was the life and the soul of the party always fun and a laugh. Looking back I don’t even know when things changed when that girl disappeared or was she even real. It’s not as if I even want to be that girl. I just want to be someone who is living not just coping, someone who doesn’t constantly have the weight of the world on her shoulders. 

I battle daily with my thoughts but I do want to be here I want to live. I want to love and be loved. I want to be free, so keep me in your prayers for tomorrow and any other day that you can. A problem shared is a problem halved. Thank you x